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am i changed??

having insomnia last night...
2am asleep then 6am awake...but still feel energetic...
mayb last nite 2 bottle of jasmine tea make me cant slp...
boring...keep rolling on the bed for hrs...better getting up n help my fren dl psp game...
7am...looking at the monitor screen...then i went into my thinking mode again...n tis time my topic is "am i changed?"...
dunno y these few days i keep thinking of tis thing...always comparing myself to myself of old time...
sneer at my old time action...
mock at my stupid attitude...
im found out im quite idiot when back into time...
thinking y can i done such things...
think back nowadays...i learned to bahave more...or did i?
i also not sure...did i changed? if so...its in a good way or bad way?mayb i juz will nvr knw these answers...
i dun even hv a fren who watch me grew since from my kindergarten...nor primary school...

annoying...juz thinking tis aldy make me fan...y huh...
later 11am going eat dimsum wif frens...
b4 tat mayb i will go to hv a slp a while...if possible...
if not...how shld i spend these 3 hrs?
till the end...i still havent knw...am i changed?

无聊??

哈...刚刚被我朋友说我无聊...
对...我承认我超无聊...也许这是为何至今我还没有女朋友...
无聊这字眼...让我想起了以前干下的所有超无聊的事...

第一...
早上起来开电脑...第一时间上msn...
看着电脑荧幕...中途包括午餐和晚餐...
直到晚上睡觉...

第二...
一样...早上起来...开了游览器...
在friendster逗留到晚上被妈妈逼去吃晚餐...

第三...
坐在沙发看着天花板(我的最爱)...
最高记录为时3小时...
(不要用这种看待怪人的眼神看我...当时停电...我也不想的...)

第四...
在同一本小说的同一页来回看上十多二十回...
为什么?原因很简单...
眼睛自动地上下看着同一页...脑袋却不知飞到哪去...

还有更多的...还是不说为妙...
与其说我无聊...不如说我爱发呆...
但我的发呆...脑袋是像时钟般不会停止的...
我喜欢想个没想的...
未来...家庭...爱情...友情...我...他...她...它...不认识的...
就连世界末日也曾经成为我的思想主题...
哈哈...只要是值得我一想的...我也不放过...

无聊?但我接受...毕竟这就是我...
我就是我...
不与他人比较...
继续以我的原则生存下去...

...

 十月的冷
也许不及你心中的冷
但请你不要忘
你依然有朋友的温暖
永远照耀你的心灵
将它当成动力
继续把这路走下去

Happy Valentine

難過 默默付出 與等待
換不到你 的 愛
幻滅一步一步 襲過來
是我放不開
結束 最好的交代
淚流過 那片海
來不來 該不該
痛得釋懷 Happy Valentine

喃喃自語 對著空氣
沉默 離我好近
微笑的事 捉摸不定
猜不到你 的 心
愛的意義 慢慢窒息
浪漫的簡訊 不實際
湊不成句

儅想你成 一種 酷刑
阻擋自我沉溺
堅強到十二點 休息
寂寞了 狼狽的旋律
放棄這一齣戲
我口裏不一
問你在哪裏
眼淚掏盡 誰來撫平
慢慢死去 不容易

難過 默默付出 與等待
換不到你 的 愛
幻滅一步一步 襲過來
是我放不開
結束 最好的交代
淚流過 那片海
來不來 該不該
痛得釋懷 Happy Valentine

三天...

15/10
今天有两个presentation...双管齐下...
无聊...assignment准备了这么多天...经过final editing后...
终于可以把它们放在一旁了...
之后几天都是假期...直到星期一final exam...
接下来就要看看我何时才会温习了...
16/10
好无聊啊~~
不同college朋友有难...要我帮他做assignment...又是assignment...
难道我和assignment这么有缘...真不想接下他的要求...
不过身为一个朋友的我...朋友有难...
何况又是在我能力范围之内...
算啦...帮下他啦~~
本想随随便便草草率率在几分钟内做完的...
谁知我那好胜的性格还是让我花了上小时来完成...
一整天都没温习...明天吧~~
17/10
今天呢?早上九点去了ucsi拿exam token...
本来是约了朋友一起到的...怎知他们爽约...
9.30变10.30...在block a和c之间不知来回了多少次...
终于他到了...另一个却还在睡觉...来不了了...
看了我的assessment分数后...拿到49/60...不错...
加上senior的排名...我也得第三...就是还差3分就能跟senior平起平坐了...
我还需要加把劲...誓要超越他们...
和朋友吃了午饭后...便回了家...
又下雨...我没事做...想了好多好多的事...
真讨厌自己...没勇气还想那么多干嘛?
晚上玩电脑...lag到无心玩...不玩了...
怎么总觉得事事都不能如我所愿?
算了...post了blog...滚去睡吧~~
温习??明天才算吧~~

还是一样...

连续3天熬夜地赶assignment...一人背起4人的责任真的好辛苦...
都是自己拿来的...谁叫我不放心把责任分担给他们?
还是算了吧...更何况也做完了...不理了...
只剩下presentation...作最后的冲刺吧!!

几天下来发生了令我陷入低潮的事情...在这儿了不便多说...
我的思考模式越来越像一个老人了...
无法专心...时常想歪一边的...永远往坏的方面想...
嗨...为什么我是这种人?
难道我就不能像个普通人般地生活吗?
但...何谓普通人?

芝麻小事的东西我也时时挂在心里...
好烦啊...真希望我从未在这世界出现过...

...

2day extremely no mood...dunno y...
y har? i always like tis 1...
no mood to write anything...
im nothing but an empty humanoid shell...

new post!!^^

si si dan dan post something sin...later my fren will angry...haha...
he say if i dont post something in tis blog then he will angry wor...
say cannot become frens n wan block me...=.=|||
so now i simply post something to shut his mouth...haha...
kidding la...dun angry...juz so far i have ntg to write...
quite bzy to rush my 2 subjects' d assignment...do until no time to slp...
cham...so...forgive me if u feel i dun often come here update my blog la...
n 1 more thing...i will nvr abandon my blog...since itz my world...
juz blif me la...^^

臭豆腐~~

臭豆腐~~臭豆腐~~
为了一尝众人为之疯狂的臭豆腐...
我今天难得有机会与三位朋友去"试胆"...
不过在那之前...我朋友买了3支超级麻辣口味的台湾香肠请我们吃...
哈哈...一向来无辣不欢的我当然不放过这机会...
誓要证明我不怕辣...不但吃了一支...
而我一名朋友因为"bek tahan"了...吃不下了...要我把它"吞"完...
我又很大方的答应了...
我拼命地走在他们的前方...为的是不想让他们看到我那含泪的眼...
18年了...活了18年(我刚满18)...我终于说出好辣这两个字...

过后我们走了下...终于在小巷里找到臭豆腐摊...
然后在我朋友车里一起品尝"美味"的臭豆腐...
在吃之前还拍照...纪念我们第一次吃臭豆腐...=.=|||
一口吃下去...还以为会难以如口...
不过万万没想到原来臭豆腐...是如此地...
没味道...
没错...没味道...
和一般的油炸豆腐没两样...就有臭味而已...
好失望呀...还以为有理由在朋友车里呕...
切...算了吧...
有一个吃臭豆腐的经验...我一已经很满足了~~

fren birthday...again...

juz come back from look up point...1st time go thr...
no...once upon a time i pass by thr once...but long long ago liao...
went to the gasoline restaurant and had a chicken maryland...so huge...make me dam full...
17...total 17 ppl going for his "party"...so many ppl...
haih...so many ppl but i still feeling lonely...
i speak a lot thr but i still feeling my heart throw deep inside the sea...
dun ask me y...i dunno how to explain...

another fren birthday again...y tis month so many ppl birthday de le?
later 20th oct got 1 more fren birthday...aiyo...
my wallet very pain le...but still...frenship is the most important for me...itz worth to use these money...
1 more thing i wanted to mention here...finally all my debt is clear...wallet become thinner again...rm20 left to use...
but i think itz enuf for me to spend couple of month...
life getting so hard now...
n also...my life getting more meaningless...

forever frens~~^^

2day is 2nd oct 2008 and the time is 1.30am...one and a half hour of my birthday passed...
juz planned to no go out celebrate but since my frens force me to go...i dun hv any choice to choose...
we go to tan cafe to hv a drink...n waiting my other frens to arrive...itz take abt an hour for the other come...juz wondering wat they doing...
after they come...then we start "chick-chat"...as usual...
12am...my birthday finally reach...suddenly feel im so "lengzai"...haha...XD
my frens order an ice-cream for me to replace a birthday cake...
an ice-cream as birthday cake?? i really nvr try b4 but im still happy since i can celebrate my birthday wif my frens...
when we going back...i tot tis year will be like other years tat i wont receive any present...i dun mind my frens dun sen me a gift since i aldy used to it...having frens 2gether when my birthday is enuf for me...
juz when im almost reach hse...my fren sen me a sms...ask me if the mee nice then tell him...
huh?? mee?? wat mee?? he din answer me...
then when i open my door...wala...guess wat?
a bag full of presants putting on the table...
oh my frens...gv presents also no nid so secretly wan gua?
i open the presents...=.='' big sweat...
chocolate...instant noodle...chocolate again...tissues paper(huh??!!)...n finally got 1 thing which really looked like a present...a novel...
i noe im underweight la...but also no nid gv me so many chocolate gua? wan me fat meh??

anywhr...i feel happy n really dunno how to thankz my frens for such a "wonderful" gifts...
present is not measure by itz price...the most important is 心意...
im feeling very happy...truely...
thank you my frens...n my wish for tis year is...
we will b frens forever n eternally...i will nvr feel regret having u all as my frens...